My #RoadToCPA

“Where do I begin? To tell the story of how great our love can be?’ charot, seriously, I never saw this moment happening, not even in my wildest dreams because I am not the type to publish stories, and yet here I am. I know should’ve done this ages ago, but then again, nothing is ever too late, right?

Well, what happened was, I took the CPALE exam, became a conditional passer and then took it again, and by God’s grace, I finally passed. Technically, the outcome of a story that is not so inspiring.

The board exam, frankly speaking, isn’t that difficult. It was hard, as any exam should, but the difficulty is manageable depending on the level of preparedness you’ve exerted. In short, the secret to passing the board lays in your preparation, which is the hard part, the real roadblock unto your journey to achieving that three-letter title.

Nonetheless, as I have contemplated about it, I cannot admit that I lacked preparation. Lord knows I have given my all and more during those six painful months. Thus, I would like to think of that incident as another phase that I have to go through to learn a lesson that is bigger than anything I could ever achieve, faith. To have faith in His plans, to just believe and allow Him to take over the wheel of my life and allow the circumstances to lead me to where I am now and to where I’ll be tomorrow. That was one tough lesson.

Now, we are at the part where I’ll try my best to give a detailed synopsis of what I’ve been through while travelling in that road to CPA. Are you ready? Ngekngek, like you have a choice, hahaha.

I left my college with a bittersweet feeling. Bitter because, I lost my latin honors due to circumstances that are beyond my control, but on second thought, it could’ve been within my control had I known the name of the game, chos and sweet, for finally, I am free from the chains of the four-cornered education system.

Then, here comes the beginning of the concluding season for me, the final chapter, whose end will decide what door will open in the next level, where the real game is. Therefore, I told myself, I have to finish strong.

With that in mind, I took my review days seriously. I slept lesser than I already did in my undergrad, and procrastinated more… ayy, studied more diay. Pero, to be honest, procrastination, helped me maintain my sanity during those days, hehe. I gave too much effort in my review that it came to the point na, after my review class during weekdays, which is 8am to 5pm, I, together with my besties, spend the night out to study more in Mcdo until the wee hours of the dawn, which is practically, 3 or 4am in the morning, especially on our off-days. So to speak, we were very sleep-deprived then. Although, my girls and I live together, we never practiced group studying. We have our own pace of learning; we have different strengths and weaknesses to focus on so we don’t disturb each other most of the time when we study. We only speak when we want to share something or ask confusing questions and situations. This was our strategy ever since college days, in short, “iyahayng paningkamot”. Take note that is one lesson already: know thyself and your peers, and develop your own strategy. Remember, the board exam is not a group effort; you really have to equip yourself extremely to be confident on your own.

Moving on, so we were comfortable on our own review methods and we stick to it, after all, we don’t have the time to think of other methods. Thankfully, it worked naman. The pre-board results were more than I expected, I was part of the top 20, a sigh of relief--it was an affirmation that I was doing well. Then here comes the validation exams, ana sila, lisod daw… aww, lisod jud diay, I only attained a measly 58% as general average on that exam. Wow, my petty confidence level dropped-dead, then I asked myself, am I truly ready? But the H*** I care, I am now free to claim my TOR, thus ready or not, I’ll take that exam. I have come this far bes, there’s no turning back.

Pero during those times people; you’ll have to accept the possibility that not all of you can take the same exam. Although, it’s a relief that you’ve saved yourself, it also is painful to witness the grief of your mates… *insert awkward silence*

At this point of the story, the actual date of the exam is fast approaching, and I find myself cramming, chewing in big chunks of the review materials I haven’t touched yet. I was restless, stressed, and my veins are now filled with caffeine, its official, I finally am on my worst shape ever. However, I ignored my physique, because my eyes are on the prize, I’m going to slay this exam, I told myself. Little did I know, the knife maybe is in my hands, but I was the one who was stabbed, fatally.

The May 2016 examinations, was difficult but fair, fair, because, it was doable. As I said earlier, it’s all about the preparation. It was never about your materials; the books you’ve read, what went out during the past exams, who made the questions, and the super reviewers. Its only about how much understanding you’ve given each of the topics, how much value you’ve put into their content… how much you know the subject. Believe me, if you know this by heart, no theory question or problem will ever confuse you. The beauty of accounting can only be appreciated through understanding.

Going back to me being stabbed, so yes, I am on my worst shape when I took the exam, I am not nervous but my heart was palpitating hard and my mind was going places. This isn’t good. Nonetheless, by God’s grace, I finished the five subjects on time, I had many doubts on my answers, but I casted them all to Him… and now Advanced Financial Accounting and Reporting, formerly, Practical Accounting Two, was a disaster… I wasn’t able to answer the last fifteen problems because I ran out of time, so I just shaded the remaining items with a heavy heart.

Now, the results came in like a storm… I received a text of consolation from a friend… I checked the internet to see it for myself and there I saw, Jara, Cherry ANN. Wow. Was it a joke? My mother asked me if the results were out, but I can’t say a word… ‘cos if I do, I’ll break into tears, which I really did. Well this part here is really inexplicable because I was in a rollercoaster of emotions, and I am a drama queen, thus fast forward to when I knew where did it all went wrong. Okay, in my very emotional moments, I realized how big of a dumbass I was, why me?, have I done anything wrong? Do I deserve this? Bugua nako oy and it went on. Then, Te Jan and Kuya Mhond visited, Makita na daw ang rating… but l got eaten with all those bad feelings, and I lost all hope, pero they were confident na ako lagi daw ang condi… so my grades were… FAR-81, AFAR-82, MAS-88, Tax-70, RFBT-83, Auditing-62… oh no. I fell short by just 3%! Life at those moments really had fun making jokes on me.

I was a bit thankful… but still very discouraged and disappointed with myself. I decided to carry on and invest time to study at home to retake the failed subjects. Those days were one of the gloomiest days of my life. I was full of self-pity, insecurity, hate and all. Joy was nowhere to be found. Nevertheless, despite of all my shame and brokenness, the Lord, thru his angels- my family, and friends, never gave up on me.

I must admit, I took that fall too hard. I can’t blame anyone—not even myself. I resented people—I avoided them, went MIA on social media and just cried bitterly every single day. I know it was too much, but what can I do? People grieve in ways they know how. Suppressing feelings is not my strongest suit.

Yet, even when tears did fell like rain, I kept the faith. I know in my heart that my battle is far from over, and I know that this time, I’ll be victorious. Joke. I honestly lost all confidence. The path to take wasn’t clear. How to attack the remaining enemies was uncertain. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore. All I am aware of is, I’m done. However, I have so much time to kill.

Thus, I spend the next 5 months weeping (I’m a natural cry-baby), while summarizing books and answering all resource questions that I have to maintain the heat. I went solo, talked less and listened more to music and His Word.

Looking back on those days, I realized what a beating I had from life for crying over spilled and now spoiled milk. Life extremely taught me how it goes on—with or without me, how frantic I was in running the race where in fact, I didn’t know whose race I was running. I forgot that this is my race; I’ll have to run it in my pace and not with anyone’s.

Moreover, no human ability could ever overcome God’s plans. More than anything, I understood that He had a plan. I maybe well-equipped for anything but if it’s not yet the time, it can’t be helped. I had to learn something and He knew it more than anyone did.

Today, I have become better and stronger. My mind is clear. I have plans, priorities and goals but I now truly know: whatever my plans--the Lord shall establish my steps.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the Lord will never disappoint in bringing your every dream into completion. Only that, we have to do our part—whatever that maybe, simply because, nothing comes easy. When it comes to the things you want, giving your best will always pay off in many ways. Dream big, work hard and pray harder—all things work together for good.